Welcome To The Northwest Coast
by TheRetro
Summary: Humanstuck AU. I will be updating and replacing chapters as I make them better, so don't skip over a chapter you have already read.
1. Welcome To The NCAIT

-6:30 AM, Apartment 44B, Irwin Towers Apartment Complex-

"Juliana, get up now! We leave in 45 minutes!" you shout to your younger sister as you head to the kitchen to take the shopping list and get your satchel, as you are in charge of getting next week's groceries.

"Really Ryan? We leave at seven fifteen? Why the rush, you trying to hit on the barista at Starbucks before going to uni again?" Juliana groans and stumbles out of her room, still half asleep.

"If you say anything more about Ryan's relationships, I'll nail you to the wall!" a girl's voice comes out of your room.

"Porrim, it's fine. I'll deal with Juliana myself," you respond to your girlfriend, as she pokes her head out from around the doorway to your shared bedroom.

"What day is it…" you mutter to yourself as you check the calendar on the kitchen wall.

"_Great… Thursday…_" you groan as you start packing your satchel.

Thursday means you have three classes, none of them in the least bit interesting. They were art and engineering design, architecture design, and civil engineering, a boring class nonetheless, but it was taught by a family friend of yours, Servenci Vantas, who was sometimes known as the Sufferer, after the rebellion he lead against the class system in West Africa. In 2074, he moved to NCAIT, and started teaching as a civil engineering professor. Here, he had adopted his two sons, Kankri, who is the same age as you, and Karkat, who is 13, and goes to the same school as your sister.

You add your laptop, notebook, and pens to your satchel, and lazily throw it down on the couch. You hear Porrim as she starts making scrambled eggs for the three of you. You still have yet to propose to her, but you plan on doing it the summer after you graduate with your bachelor's degree in civil engineering. As you walk to the table, your phone rings.

"Who the hell would call this early in the morning?" you mutter under your breath as you answer the phone.

-6:47 AM, 3204, 45th Street-

"Hey, Ryan!" you say as your best friend picks up the phone.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite Russo-Scottish pyromaniac!" you hear Ryan exclaim sarcastically, "You do know that entire thing was on the news last night, right?"

"Yeah, of course I know, I saw the film crews!" you say in a matter-of-fact tone, "Now look, Ryan, you need to come over this weekend for the maintenance on the hydraulic actuator in your left arm that you said was acting up. It's the only time I have open for two weeks."

"What time, then? I've got nothing planned this weekend," he informs you.

"Hmm… 3:30 sound good?" you respond.

"Sure," he says.

"Well, see ya then!" you say as you hang up.

"How's Jacody doing?" you ask your fiance, Meulin as you walk into Jacody's room.

"He's still running a fever, but the coughing has gone down," she replies while checking his temperature.

You walk up to your brother, ruffle his hair, and smile.

"Get better little bro," you whisper to him.

"I'll try," he responds, his eyes opening slightly. He smirks.

You walk out of his room and head to the kitchen and open the fridge and look for stuff to make breakfast with. The fridge is filled mainly with eggs and yogurt, your two favorite foods.

"Well, I guess we're having fried eggs again…" you mutter to yourself as you grab a box of eggs from the bottom shelf and get a frying pan from the drawer. The butter is nowhere to be found.

"Hey, Meulin! Would we happen to be out of butter again?" you shout down the hall to her, as she emerges from Jacody's bedroom.

"I'm pretty sure we ran out at dinner, and it was too late by then to go to the store," she responds from the hallway.

"Okay then, we're having granola bars for breakfast!" you yell back.

"I'll be sure to get some at the store later," she says, walking up to you.

-7:05 AM, Apartment 44B, Irwin Towers Apartment Complex-

You hit end call, put the phone back in your pocket, and start making breakfast. You sigh, and pull a photo from your wallet. It is your school photo from your senior year, back before you got all this metal crap attached to you. It was early March, 2087, when your best friend, Jack Leland went insane, and almost killed you. Now, your nickname is Dead Echo, as you are a shadow of your former self, composed mainly of metal alloys and wiring. As well, you are technically dead, as your heart is only running off one of Letovi's crazy inventions. You still remember that day as clear as though it happened yesterday, even though 5 years have passed since then. You are actually starting to forget what it was like to have two working eyes and have limbs that weren't made of a titanium-cobalt alloy. You were 18 when that happened, and you still carry around a picture to remind yourself of who you used to be, even though now all it does is make you get really emotional, so you usually don't take it out in front of anyone.

"Everything ok?" Porrim asks as she walks up behind you and rubs your right shoulder. You are pretty sure she is rubbing both, but your left arm from the collarbone down is all metal, and you can't feel anything in it, aside from in the hand.

"It's nothing, Porrim, just… feeling nostalgic about not being composed of metal," you say is a wistful tone, resting your hands on the edge of the sink.

"Don't think about that, I _know _it makes you emotional, Ryan," she says, ruffling your hair. She walks back over to the stove and stirs the eggs. You stand up and walk to your sister's room and bang on the door.

"Juliana! We're leaving in 10 minutes and breakfast is almost done, get ready!" you yell through the door.

"Ugh! Can't I have a morning where you're not slamming on my door? she responds, clearly annoyed with you.

"Ryan, I can handle this. You go eat breakfast, the eggs are in the frying pan on the stove," Porrim says, going into Juliana's room. You sigh and go to the kitchen, and get a heapful of eggs for yourself. You can hear Porrim and Juliana having a rather heated discussion about _something_, but you can't tell what through the door, as you are only picking up fragmented pieces of speech, as one of the few things that are still human about you are your ears. The two of them come out and sit down at the table, each getting a heapful of eggs from the frying pan.

-7:17 AM, 3204, 45th Street-

You walk to your room and power up your desktop PC and open google chrome, and go to the BBC website. There is nothing interesting in the news, so you boot up Pesterchum and look for who's online to talk to. Your username is retroRussian and you talk in a VERY pronounced manner, and often curse at the FUCKING STUPIDITY of others.

\- retroRussian [RR] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 7:20 AM -

RR: HEY man! HOW'S your morning going?

TT: Not badly, if I would say so myself. I stayed up talking to Rose, and now I am dead tired.

RR: I had a rather lovely discussion with Jake last night. HE mentioned you getting drunk and hitting on him, is this true?

TT: Sadly, yes. I guess my bi was showing again

RR: WELL, let's just hope my Meulin doesn't find out, or it'll be FUCKING HELL for the two of you.

TT: Well, I should be going, i've gotta open up shop in a bit.

RR: OK then, talk to you in a while.

TT: Bye then

\- retroRussian [RR] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 7:25 AM -

-7:50 AM, 6542, California Street-

"Kanaya, come on! We've got 15 minutes to pack!" you yell as you run down the stairs to the kitchen to pack your lunch.

"I'm coming, Rose, just give me a second!" the yell comes from the room you share with your best friend upstairs.

Ever since what happened six years ago, you and your sister Roxy have been living with the Maryams, as there is no way in _hell_ your sister can take care of you, let alone herself. She has had an alcohol addiction since she was 14, as it was the only way for her to deal with the stress from your parents. You just reverted to passive-aggressive mind games with your mother and reading your wizard novels. You are about to make a sandwich, when you notice a paper bag with your name on it sitting next to the fruit bowl. There is one for Kanaya sitting next to it.

"Never mind the lunches, your mom made us each one," you inform your best friend as she enters the kitchen, carrying her satchel.

"Well then, we've got 12 minutes until Jane and John show up, what do you want to do?" she asks.

"We could make oatmeal," you say as you rummage through the cabinet for the oatmeal container.

"Scratch that Rose, Jane is here early," Kanaya says from the living room.

"Ugh, great," You mutter as you grab your backpack off the couch. Even though you usually like seeing John and Jane, you are quite tired and would rather be left alone. You and Kanaya walk out the door, locking it behind you, as Kanaya's mother has already left and Roxy won't wake up until two in the afternoon or so, due to her medications.

"Hey you two!" Jane says as you climb into the back seat.

"Hey," you reply, trying to look tired.

"Hey Kanaya, what's up with Rose?" John says, turning around in his seat.

"Nothing," Kanaya responds, "She just doesn't feel like talking. She had another therapy session with Dave, and then chatted with Dirk. And by chat, I mean she was up until three in the morning on the phone with him."

"And I thought _I _was bad about going to bed on time," John replies, smirking. You lean your head on the door of the car and close your eyes, trying to tune out the noise.

-7:55 AM, 3204, 45th Street-

"Hey Meulin, I've gotta go now, sorry I can't help with Jacody," you say as you walk out the door and get in your pickup truck and head off toward your metalshop, where you work. As you pull into the parking lot, you notice another truck, smaller than yours.

"Well, that means Sergetov must be here," you mutter under your breath as you open the door and walk up to him, who is working on fabricating a new laser emitter casing for your aging pulse cutter. Your shop might not have new equipment, but you make the best products around, improvising with whatever spare parts you can find around your shop. You hand-crafted most of the stuff in this building, including, the high-pressure metal former, which uses magnets and a lack of oxygen to bind metals together at high temperatures. You built this thing for a few hundred dollars, which were for the few parts you didn't have. It took a long time, but a factory-built machine of the same quality as yours would cost around 30,000 dollars, which would have been more than you make in two years back then. It was an old machine, at least five years old, which is a long time for something used as much as this metal former is.

-8:10 AM, West Coast Academy-

"Hey guys," you mutter to John, Rose, and Kanaya as they walk over to your table.

"Hello Karkat, lovely morning we're having today," Kanaya says as she sits down next to Aradia and Feferi, across the table from you.

"So, what's up?" John says, sitting down next to you, eating a poptart.

"Oh, just Kankri ranting about that "social justice" bullshit of his four of five times," you respond as you take a swig from your mug full of hot chocolate.

"Yeesh, _five times_?" John replies, a look of pity on his face.

"Karkat, you really should be more respectful of your brother's... _preferred_ activities," Rose says, a tinge of offence in her voice.

"I'd _love_ to see you try to not get annoyed by that asshole ranting," you respond to Rose.

"Sorry guys, I've gotta go, Vriska's here," John replies, taking off running.

"Well, at least someone with a sense of humor has arrived," Rose jokes, as Vriska and John walk over to your group, holding hands.

"S'up douchebags?" Vriska responds mockingly.

"Hey, spiderbitch," you respond in kind.

"Don't make fun of my girlfriend!" John says, in a mocked hurtful tone, sitting down with her at his side. They both sit down, and you get into a argument with John over movies again.

The bell rings, and you all get up and head outside to the bench in front of the gym, which is your group's normal meeting place in the morning. You and your friends have gone here for at least two years each, and have a special friendship with each other. You have gone here since 4th grade, most of the others came around 5th or 6th grade. As it is mid-October, most of the chatter is about Halloween, where you throw a HUGE party with your best friends, John and Jacody, who… is not here today. The bell rings at 8:30 for you to get to class, which is 1st period PE.

"What a great fucking way to start the day, PE at 8:30 in the morning…" you mutter as you and Aradia head off to the gym.

-8:30 AM, West Coast Academy-

"Well, see ya next class!" you say to Vriska as you head off to English class, giving her a parting hug and kiss.

"Hey, John! Wait up!" you hear a female's voice yell from behind you. It's Juliana, barely on time, as always. She has a tendency to fall asleep in class, as she gets almost no sleep, due to the fact that she stays up on Tumblr until around 2-4 AM on normal weekdays. Her brother would stop her, but his bedroom walls are soundproof, so he can't hear her laughing her ass off at the gif threads on Tumblr.

-8:30 AM, English-Harley Weapons Range-

"Jade, get up," you say to your sister as you rub her head.

"Mmff… not now, Jake, it's only 8:30, the range doesn't open till 9:30," Jade responds, rolling over on the couch to face you.

"I know, but you need to help me set up, there is a party coming, and they want half the range to themselves to flaunt their shiny new guns," you respond, sitting down at the end of the couch.

"Ugh, fine…" Jade groans, sitting up and putting on her glasses. "I'll be ready in 30 minutes," she says, stretching her arms out and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. You go into the kitchen and pour out a bowl of cereal for yourself. Since housing out here isn't cheap, you live on the second floor of the range's shop. You decided to buy this land and open up a weapons range after you left your native pacific island and moved to Oregon. Your sister came over a year later, after you had bought a house and had a stable job. On the island, almost everyone hunted at some point or another, and you and Jade were no exception. You prefer your twin 9mm Barettas, but Jade likes the rifle she got for her 11th birthday. You are by no means rich, but you make enough money to support the two of you.

Seeing as you need Jade to help you as much as possible at the range, and you cannot afford to hire someone to help at the range, in fact, the only other person who works here is Myrian Tuderas, a good friend, you homeschool Jade. She enjoys the lax rules and that she never has to do much. Most of the administrators that are supposed to check on her education are too scared to come over during working hours, and are scared of the two of you always carrying your guns around wherever you go. The first time they came, they were greeted by the barrel of Jade's rifle pointing at their face, before you realized what was happening and told her that she could stand down.

You finish your cereal and head downstairs to the shop. You unlock the door and turn on the lights. Technically, Jade isn't allowed to work on the range during hours, but she doesn't listen to them, she is the best rangemaster you know, aside from yourself.


	2. Good Morning Northwest Coast!

"Hey," Jade says, coming down the stairs, now back to her usual perky, slightly silly mood. You chuckle, ruffling her hair.

"How's my favorite dog?" you ask in a silly voice.

"Woof!" she says. The dog thing is a joke about when she was younger, she would act like a dog, she even wore dog ears and tail. She stopped doing it when she came here to Oregon.

"Woof," you respond, walking over to the gun safe, pulling out your pistol holsters and twin 9mms. You also grab Jade's BDT-5M light rifle, tossing it to her. You grab two clips for your pistols and a clip for her rifle. You hand her the rifle clip, which she loads before slinging the rifle over her shoulder. You load your pistols and holster them, making sure the safety is on.

"Jade, we've got to open up in ten minutes. I'll check the rifle range, you check the pistol range," you say, opening the door and hopping on your quad. You rev the engine and set off for the rifle range, about a quarter mile from the shop. You arrive back at the shop with two minutes to spare. Jade is upstairs in her room, listening to music on her stereo-mp5 player hookup. You already opened the gates, and so you sit down in your office in the back room of the first floor. Myrian isn't supposed to be here until around 11 AM, so you are alone until then.

-10:30 AM, Southern Oregon University-

"Now, now, Aranea, I'm sure Meenah didn't mean it when she said she hates you, you know what she's like over the weekends, almost always drunk, or worse," you say, patting your friend on the back.

"Sigh… I know you're probably right, Kankri, but… she can get a bit sexual around me when she gets drunk. It's probably just her remembering our relationship in the wrong light, and is trying to bring it back, but, alas, she does it while drunk…" Aranea responds, a sad, heavy tone in her voice.

"Aranea, it's okay to remember your relationship with Meenah, but… she might not remember it the same way you do," you say in a comforting tone.

"Kankri, I just… miss having her as a girlfriend, even though I know i'm straight," Aranea responds, the sad, heavy tone getting more pronounced by the word.

"Well, you might not be straight, i've seen how you react to seeing more attractive females. After seeing some of your reactions, I would say you are actually bisexual," you say, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"But then why is this feeling only around Meenah?" Aranea asks, looking as though she is about to cry.

-10:30 AM, Southern Oregon Middle School-

"Fuck off Ampora, no, I will not date you!" you yell, shoving him away from you.

"But Sol, why?" he responds, complaining.

"Because _I'm_ not gay, you fucking moron. Now go away before I change my mind about blowing up your computer," you yell in response.

"Whatever," he says, strutting off with his snobby rich friends.

"_Fucking dumbass,_" you mutter under your breath as you walk over to two of your friends.

"Hey Nepeta, hey Strider," you say, collapsing on the bench next to them.

"S'up, man," Dave responds, his eyes still glued to his phone with his headphones plugged in, no doubt listening to one of his shitty 'ironic' raps again.

"Hey, Sollux!" Nepeta responds in her usual giddy and bouncy tone.

"So, what's up with you, Nepeta? you ask, giving her a high-five.

"I have _SO_ many more ships!" she exclaims, jumping up and down as fast as she can. "Ooh! Sorry, Sollux, but I have to go, Equius is here!" she exclaims, running off towards her best friend, giving him a tacklepounce.

You pull your laptop from your bag and turn it on, and promptly resume coding another really shitty virus, which you will email to Karkat to show off how much better at coding you are than him. That usually pisses him off, as he hates _anyone_ showing that they are better than he is at anything. It's kinda cute sometimes when he gets mad though, and almost everyone comments about it, which just makes him even more mad.

"Hey, my motherfuckin bro," you hear the voice of a seriously drugged Gamzee to the left of you, but then again, when Gamzee is not like this, he goes on brutal rampages, which usually involve him getting drugged to stop him from hurting anyone else. And, as all your friends can attest, a drugged Gamzee is better than a sober Gamzee.

"_Sigh_… Hi, Gamzee," you say, keeping your eyes glued to the screen, working away in JavaScript.

"What're you doing, best friend? More of the miraculous computer stuff, bro? he asks, leaning over your shoulder to read what you are coding.

"Gamzee, it is _not _the time for you to be doing this," you respond, slightly agitated by him leaning on you and practically breathing down your neck.

"Look, motherfuckin best friend, I think this computer thing is miraculous, and it'd be good if a motherfuckin bro taught me how to do this miracle," he asks. You can smell the drugs in his breath, and it _reeks_.

"Gamzee, ugh… maybe later. Just, can you leave me alone right now?" you ask, growing uncomfortable of him being so close to you.

"Sure thing, motherfuckin bro," he responds, walking off, most likely to find his "best bro", also known as Tavros.

-10:33 AM, Southern Oregon Middle School-

"Hey, Sollux," you say, slugging your friend in the arm.

"Hey, Adrian," Sollux responds, his eyes still glued to the laptop screen.

"What're you coding this time?" you ask, leaning in to look at the computer screen.

"Just another shitty virus to sent to KK," he says, typing furiously.

"Well, what does it do?" you ask, looking at the screen.

"It makes the computer restart every time you right click," he responds, still typing away.

"You wouldn't happen to know the location of Lillian, would you?" you ask.

"I have no fucking idea where she is. For all I know, she is at home sick with the pox," he responds.

"You know what? I'm going to pester Lillian and see how she is doing," you say, pulling out your phone and logging on to Pesterchum. Your username is cynicalSteampunker, and you t/\lk \/ery weird.

\- cynicalSteampunker [CS] began pestering impulsiveArtist [IA] at 10:40 AM -

CS: Hey, Lilli/\n

IA: Whaat noow, Aadriiaan?

CS: Just \/\/\nted to see ho\/\/ you /\re doing

IA: OOh, ii'm fiinee.

CS: I he/\rd you \/\/ere sick, /\re you just riding it out so you don't h/\\\/e to go to school?

IA: Yees, II aam. Myy mootheer dooees noot suuspeect aa thiing.

CS: /\h, cr/\p, i'\/e gott/\ go, cl/\ss is st/\rting

IA: Seee yoouu thiis weeekeend, theen.

\- cynicalSteampunker [CS] ceased pestering impulsiveArtist [IA] at 10:45 AM -

You get up from the bench and head to your third period class, math. Math is a boring class, but at least you have Sollux in math with you.

-10:40 AM, English-Harley Weapons Range-

"Sorry if I'm late, traffic was terrible," you say to Jake, rushing in the door.

"Myrian, you're 20 minutes early," Jake responds, bolting upright in his chair, startled by your arrival.

"That would explain why the parking lot is empty," you say, grabbing your rangemaster gear from your locker in the back room. You put your bulletproof flak vest on, and sling your L/218 Assault Rifle over your right shoulder. The rifle was a birthday present two years ago to replace your aging L/184, which, to this day, hangs above the fireplace in the house you share with Jane. You are lucky she lets you live with her, as both your parents are still living in New York City, and you took your younger brother, Adrian, with you when you moved out here.

"Well, as you have 20 minutes until you are officially here, you want to come upstairs and have some coffee?" Jake asks, heading for the staircase to the upstairs.

"Sure, why the hell not?" you ask, following him up to the kitchen. He starts brewing a pot of coffee. The two of you go back a while, you met at a riflery contest in southern Oregon a while ago. You ended up sitting next to each other, and went out for a few drinks afterwards. You exchanged numbers, and then you found out he owned his own weapons range. He hired you when he found out you live so close to him, and he needed the help. You gladly accepted the job, and even though it pays almost nothing, it is good to have a job you enjoy as much as this one.

"Coffee's done," Jake says, pulling the pot off the machine and pouring you each a cup.

"Thanks, Jake," you say, grabbing one of the full mugs and taking a shot of it.

"Hmm… what kind of coffee is this?" you ask, eyeing the cup with suspicion.

"It's nothing special, just generic coffee from the store in town," he responds, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Wierd, it tastes different than normal," you say, taking another swig. You also take a seat, and you hear footsteps as Jade comes around the corner into the kitchen.

"Hey, Myrian," Jade says, also pouring herself a cup of coffee, and proceeds to add sugar to it.

"So, Jade, how's school been?" you ask as a joke. You know she is homeschooled, and the questions about school have become a joke between the three of you.

She puts on an obviously fake smile and says, "It's been fun. I am learning SO much!" you all burst out laughing at her act.

"That was one of your best ones so far!" Jake says, still laughing, holding his sides.

"No doubt," you add, sitting back upright in your chair.

-10:50 AM, Baltec Inc. Metallurgists and Mechanics Repair Shop-

"Hey, Sergetov, you finished with that emitter casing yet?" you yell across the shop at Sergetov, who is hunched over a belt grinder.

"Almost, Letovi!" he calls back, still hunched over the grinder.

You hear a truck pull up outside the garage door to your workshop, its engine shutting off.

"Hey, Letovi," you hear from behind you, "Where do ya want this casing?" Sergetov asks.

"On the table next to the door," you respond, heading outside into the rear parking lot.

"I have a delivery of five tons of compressed cobalt-steel alloy for a… Mr. Romakov or a Mr. Nitram," the delivery man ask, holding a clipboard under his left arm.

"I'll go get Mr. Nitram," you say, "I have some bills to fill out."

"Hey, Sergetov!" you call to you business partner, even though he is more than 20 years older than you, the two of you are good friends.

"Yeah, Letovi?" he asks, turning his around to face you.

"There's a delivery man out front with the cobalt-steel alloy we ordered," you say, "You need to sign the forms, I have more paperwork from the power company."

"Okay then, where should I have him put it?" he asks.

"Over by the pulse cutter, there is enough room," you say, pointing at the corner of the workshop.

"Will do," he responds, walking out to sign the papers. You sit down in your office, picking up a rather thick packet of papers from PG&amp;E, the power company.

-11:00 AM, Northern California University of Architecture and Engineering-

"Hey, Ryan, you got any plans for lunch? Dirk and I were planning to get pizza, you up for it?" you hear a voice call from your left.

"Oh. Hey, Devyn," you say, turning to look at your friend who you have known since elementary school.

"Well?" She asks, "you game for pizza?"

"Why the hell not?" you respond, a slight smile on your face.

"I'll call Dirk and tell him," she says, pulling out her phone to call your mutral friend, Dirk Strider, master of irony, puppets, and anything even remotely Japanese. A few minutes later, she hangs up, having informed Dirk of your plan to join them for lunch.

"So, how's your life been?" she asks, having moved over to sit next to you.

"Not bad, not bad at all," you respond, "I got the ring that I'm going to propose to Porrim with hidden in my room, and Juliana didn't see it, so I don't have to bribe her to keep quiet about it at all."

"Wow, you are finally proposing to Porrim, that makes me feel old. I remember when you two started dating, and Letovi, Myrian and I had a bet on if you would marry her," she says, staring off into space.

"Well, whoever bet on me marrying her has won," you say.

Not yet," she cuts in, "we only win once you propose and she says yes."

"Then you're not going to win until this summer after I get my degree," you respond.

"You're _still _putting off the engagement? But you have the ring, and you have the money to have the wedding," Devyn asks.

"I would have already married her, but I don't have the time to have the wedding," you respond.

"That explains a lot," she says sarcastically, "you could have at least proposed to her by now, I mean, you graduate in three months."

"And I'm going on a post-graduation trip with my sister. We're going to meet up with my parents in London, and we're going on a two-week tour of England." you interrupt, "and I want to propose to her somewhere significant, so where better than on the cliffs of Dover?"

"Dover sounds okay, but why not Paris, or almost anywhere in France?" she questions.

"Because I don't have the time while I'm in England to go to France," you respond, "I've already got the trip planned out, and I can't stay in England any longer, because once I graduate, I'm going to need to get a full-time job. No more of this on-off bullshit like what it's been working with Kurloz at his club. I mean, sure, I'm threatening and all, with all the metal on me, but I'd rather get a job where I don't have to use my night vision to see anything."

"That is true. Porrim would most likely get tired of you just being around in the apartment moping all day anyways," Devyn says, joking, "Well anyways, it was nice talking, but I've got a class to attend, so see you in an hour or so," she says, getting up and rushing off.

\- 11:30 AM, West Coast Academy-

"Hey, Juliana, would you know where Jacody is?" John asks, tapping you on the shoulder.

"No, John. I have no idea. I think he might be sick, I'll just pester him to make sure," you say, pulling your smartphone out and opening pesterchum. Your chumhandle is clairvoyantRevolutionary and y{}u }{ave a }{abit {}f {}verannunciating }{'s and {}'s.

\- clairvoyantRevolutionary [CR] began pestering elusiveRenegade [ER] at 11:31 AM -

CR: }{ey, jac{}dy, are you sick? J{}}{n was w{}ndering.

ER: yEAh, I'm At hOmE sIck AgAIn. whAt's Up?

CR: I was just asking, n{}t}{ing else.

CR: Actually, I }{ave a question. w}{y don't y{}u capitalize y? It's als{} a v{}wel.

ER: nO It Isn't thE Only vOwEls ArE A, E, I, O, U

CR: }{{}w is Y not a v{}wel? T}{ere are several w{}rds t}{at }{ave n{} v{}wels {}t}{erwise.

ER: nO, thErE ArEn't.

CR: I can name tw{} {}ff the t{}p of my }{ead: crypt and sylp}{.

ER: Ugh, fInE, I'll AlsO cApItAlIzE Y, ArE YOU hAppY nOw?

CR: Yes I am.

ER: wEll thEn, I gUEss I'll sEE yOU tOmOrrOw

CR: It was g{}{}d t{} speak t{} y{}u, see y{}u tom{}rr{}w.

\- clairvoyantRevolutionary [CR] ceased pestering elusiveRenegade [ER] at 11:34 AM -

"He is sick, _again_," you inform John, turning to face him.

"Great," John mutters, "I was hoping to start planning for the Halloween get-together we usually have, I mean, we've only got two weeks until then."

"Then talk to him on pesterchum, he has an account. And if you can't get to him through that, pester his brother. He is helpful enough," you respond, slightly annoyed at John's naiveity.

"Ugh, fine. I'll pester him later. But not until after school," he says, exasperated with you bugging him to stop being so lazy about stuff like this.

"Well, I think we should go, the bell is about to ring," you respond, grabbing your backpack and heading off towards your 4rd period class, English.

\- 11:40 AM, Southern Oregon University -

"Hey, chief. Long time no see," you hear a voice call from behind you.

"Oh. Hello, Cronus. I was not expecting you here, seeing as you are now a well-known musician on the west coast, I would've expected you to be off on tour around this time of year, not coming here to see an old acquaintance, and I would actually prefer it if you left, as I have an exam coming up, and I need to study," you say, turning around to look at him. He is wearing his usual ensemble, a leather jacket, blue jeans, a white T-shirt, and beat-up cowboy boots. His hair is perfectly slicked back with hair gel. You fathom exactly how long it took him to get it to stay down for any period of time, as he used to have terrible cowlicks back in elementary and middle school. At least he finally stopped with the purple streak in his hair, and he dropped the wizard theme.

"So, are you gonna say something, or are you going to stand there ogling me like a model in a Victoria's Secret catalog?" he says, breaking the awkward silence.

"Cronus! That is extremely offensive to suggest that I would even glance at one of those rags! I am a man of culture, I have no need or reason to ever browse one of things, much less purchase one!" you respond, blushing, very tempted to curl up into a ball on the floor and pull your sweater over your head.

"Heh," he chuckles, smirking, " I thought you might try to pull that 'man of culture' card again. If you are still pulling that, I assume you are still celibate?"

"Yes, that assumption is correct. I am still abstaining from any romantic or sexual relationship. I merely have platonic relations, or, as more commonly called, friends," you say, walking over and sitting down on a nearby bench.


	3. Inquiries And A Visitor

"So," he queries, slouching on the bench next to you, "who all still goes to university that we know?"

You think for a bit, and the respond, "Well, Aranea and I still go here, Meulin got her English degree last year, and Devyn and Ryan still go to NCUAE in California."

He suddenly jerks up, and turns to face you, "Wait, Ryan? As in _Ryan Camarado_, the guy that saved my ass is high school when Jack snapped and almost killed all of us?"

"Yes, I do believe he is the one," you respond, pulling your phone out of your jeans pocket to pester Aranea and the others that Cronus is back in town. As he is usually performing, it is rare for him to be anywhere for more than a week.

\- complaisantGascon (CG) opened memo Messages f9r every9ne -

CG: Cr9nus is 6ack in t9wn, every9ne.

CG: We sh9uld try t9 d9 s9mething f9r him.

\- glamorousAdvocate (GA) joined memo Messages f9r every9ne -

GA: Kanny, yo+u kno+w we all hate that slimebag, why are yo+u telling us?

CG: I th9ught we c9uld be c9urte9us guests and d9 s9mething nice f9r him? He 6asically lives 9ff fast f99d, s9 we c9uld all g9 have dinner as friends.

GA: It so+nds like yo+u want to+ take Cro+nus o+ut o+n a date.

CG: Y9u 9f all pe9ple sh9uld remem6er that I am celi6ate!

GA I kno+w, Kanny. Being celibate doesn't mean yo+u can't date, tho+ugh. It just means yo+u can't have sex.

CG: I AM CELI6ATE!

GA: Did yo+u even read my last message?

\- trenchantAltruist (TA) joined memo Messages f9r every9ne -

TA: H3Y L053R5

TA: 1 54W 7H3R3 W45 4 P4R7Y H3R3

TA: 50 1 J10N3D

CG: Mituna, can y9u please refrain fr9m using triggering language?

TA: FUKC Y0U K4NKR1

TA: 1 D0 WH47 1 W4N7

GA: Kanny, leave Mituna alone. Yo+u kno+w he has pro+blems.

TA: K4NNY? 15 7H47 WH47 5H3 C4LL5 Y0U?

TA: 0MG Y0U 4R3 5UCH 4 848Y K4NKR1

CG: Mituna! What P9rrim calls me in private is n9ne 9f y9r c9ncern!

TA: 50 Y0U 7W0 4R3 FUCK 8UDD315 N0W?

CG: N9! WE ARE N9T "FUCK BUDDIES". I AM CELI6ATE!

TA: C4LM Y0UR 7175 K4NNY

GA: It yo+u two+ keep this up, I am banning bo+th o+f yo+u.

CG: Wh9 gave y9u m9derat9r privileges?

GA: Let's just say Dirk o+wed me a favo+r.

TA: 50 H3 H4D 53X W17H Y0U?

TA: 1 7H0UGH7 D1RK W45 H0M0 F0R J4K3

GA: Dirk is very interested in Jake. This was, o+f co+urse befo+re I started dating Ryan. I wo+uld never cheat o+n so+meo+ne.

TA: L47UL4 4ND 4R4N34 W0ULD 54Y 07H3RW153

GA: That's it. I'm banning yo+u Mituna.

TA: 0H, FUCK Y0U

\- glamorousAdvocate (GA) banned trenchantAltruist (TA) from responding to memo! -

CG: N9w that he is g9ne, can we get 6ack t9 the t9pic at hand?

GA: My wo+rd is already been vo+iced. I hate Cro+nus and will no+t do+ anything invo+lving being within 20 feet o+f him.

GA: Make that 50 feet.

CG: Well? D9 y9u at least have any idea 9n what I c9uld do with him?

GA: Yo+u co+uld go+ to+ a club. We all kno+w he likes tho+se.

CG: Y9u kn9w I am triggered 6y pe9ple t9uching me, and clu6s are full 9f pe9ple t9uching each 9ther.

GA: Yo+u do+n't have to dance. Yo+u can just sit do+wn and have drinks and fo+o+d.

CG: We 69th kn9w clu6s have terri6le f99d and that I d9n't drink.

GA: Well, go+ to+ a restaurant with him. If he almo+st always eats fast fo+o+d, he sho+uld appreciate the gesture.

CG: 9kay, I will suggest that t9 him.

GA: Well, I have to+ go+, I have wo+rk to+ do+.

CG: G99d6ye then.

\- glamorousAdvocate (GA) has left the memo! -

\- complaisantGascon (CG) has closed memo Messages f9r every9ne -

"So, Cronus…" you start. Cronus is still sitting next to you, looking bored.

"Yeah, Kanks? What is it?" he asks.

"I was thinking… seeing as you are rarely anywhere for over a week, and you usually eat fast food, I was thinking we could go to a restaurant, you know, as friends," you say, looking at him for his reaction.

His eyes grow wide. "Sure, Kankri. That would be pretty nice of you. And now that you mention it, I am a bit hungry for some actual food, not that deep-fried fast food crap," he responds eagerly.

"Well? Any ideas?" he asks, still staring at you.

"I was thinking that sushi place down on the bay front," you say.

"Sounds good, what time?" he responds, pulling out his phone, presumably to blog about it on Tumblr.

"I was thinking tomorrow at 7:30?" you inform him.

"Sounds good. Meet me there?" he adds.

"Sure," you respond.

"Well, i've gotta go, I have an album signing to go to," he says, standing up and walking off.

"See you tomorrow!" you yell as he walks off.

You glance at your watch, noticing that it is 11:50.

"_Oh, god. I'm going to be late.._" you mutter under your breath before taking off for your 12:00 class, Psych II.

\- 11:50 AM, Sk8! Expo Site, Northern California -

"Finally!" you mutter, getting up from the table and heading off to get lunch.

"Thanks for picking me up, Kurloz! That was pretty rad of you!" you yell to him through the crowd as the two of you, accompanied by Mituna, head off into town. He signs a quick "no problem", and the three of you keep walking.

"It's great to finally get the old gang back together again," you say, wrapping your arm around your boyfriend.

"Yeah, it's damn good to get back!" Mituna yells, showing off his signature toothy grin. Kurloz smiles, signing "he's right," before looking back towards the quickly approaching town. You decide to stop at a small corner restaurant. Lunch is relatively boring, aside from Kurloz having to calm Mituna down after his food is too hot, and he tries to eat it. You end up spending the second half of lunch with Mituna clinging to you, as a bee flies around inside the restaurant.

By the time you finish lunch, it is 12:40, and you have to get back to the expo to sign more stuff, and for the competition.

"See ya radical dudes later!" you yell as you walk off towards your booth.

"See ya later, babe!" you hear Mituna yell. You crack a smile as you walk back into your booth. The next few hours are uninteresting, just signing stuff and talking to fans.

"Alright, fans! It's time for the 4:30 Skate Competition, so come down to the arena!" you hear the announcer yell over the loudspeaker. You grab your board from under your booth table, and run down to the arena, going in through the competitor's entrance.

"Good to see you could make it Latula. I thought you would be swamped with fans!" the competition manager, Jacob, yells over the screaming fans.

"I was! I managed to get away though! A rad girl can't keep her rad fans waiting!" you yell back, the crowd still screaming.

"Well, go out there and kick some ass!" he yells, giving you a high five.

"Will do!" you yell, running out to the half-pipe. You glance through the crowd, and you spot Mituna and Kurloz. But then again, it isn't exactly hard to spot a guy in a yellow bodysuit and his best friend friend in a spandex clown outfit and purple underwear. Mituna is holding a sign, and by the terrible handwriting, you guess he made it himself. It is written in a garish green-yellow, and says "go latula" in all caps. You smile, waving at him. he smiles and waves back.

\- 12:30 PM, West Coast Academy -

"I'm telling you Egbert, something is afoot here… I don't know what, but something is going on with Kanaya and Vriska. Hanging out when they were previously rivals, not so much as glaring at each other in class… there is something weird going on," you say as you walk with John from 4th period PE towards the cafeteria for lunch. You pull out your phone, and look through your chumlist on Pesterchum. The only person online is John, who has also pulled out his phone to talk to Dave.

"Hey, John. what is Dave's pesterchum tag? For reasons of derp and or me being a lazy ass, I don't have it," you ask, nudging his arm.

"Yeah, of course I have it. How do you not?" he says, looking up at you from his phone.

"As I said, I am a derp and a lazy ass," you state, smirking.

"Fine, His username is turntechGodhead. The G is capitalized," he says, turning back to his phone.

"Thanks, no idea why I didn't have his pesterchum, aside from the aforementioned reasons," you say, adding turntechGodhead to your chumlist.

"Hey John, you should really be looking…" you start as John walks into a concrete pole next to the cafeteria.

"Dammit!" he mutters, rubbing his nose and forehead, repositioning his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"I was about to say, look out, but it seems like you already found out," you chuckle, smirking at Egbert, who has picked his phone up, and is cleaning off the screen.

"I really need to stop doing that," he says, pocketing his phone and heading off to sit eat, as he brings his own lunch every day.

"Hey Juliana, guess what Karkat did in math?" you hear Vriska yell, running up behind you.

"He started yelling over how math is bullshit, and proceeded to call the teacher an 'illiterate douchemuffin who deserves a teaching degree less than the principal deserves his morning donuts'?" you ask, smirking.

"Slightly different this time. He only had enough time to say 'illiterate douchemuffin' before the teacher kicked him out, with Karkat walking out giving him his famous Vantas Double Salute," she responds.

"Vantas Double Salute? Is that just double middle fingers?" you ask, confused.

"Yup," she responds, "Anyway, where is John?"

"He's already inside, as our usual spot," you inform her, pointing at the cafeteria doors.

"Well then, see you on the other side," Vriska says, walking off towards the glass double doors of the cafeteria.

After getting your food, you sit down at the table, joined by a bickering Karkat and Kanaya, Aradia and Rose discussing methods of corpse preservation in early civilization, Vriska and John discussing Nic Cage movies, and Feferi trying to finish an essay for English. Lunch is normal, including Karkat's repeated statements about his hate of John being the only thing keeping his from imploding of self-loathing, as well as it being 'the lifeblood of the universe'. This results in Karkat getting into a bitch-off with Vriska, each sassing the other until the other gives in. Vriska always wins, as Karkat has an incredibly short (albeit dangerous) fuse. Coupled with his explosive temperament, he is incredibly fast to detonate on anyone who gets on his nerves. As Dave has said; "That guy's a walking time bomb, ready to detonate on us like a flood of shitty toys on Christmas." As lunch ends, you all head out to a group of benches on the side of the gym, your usual area during lunch break.

\- 12:30 PM, Southern Oregon Middle School-

"Hey Dave, what you up to?" you hear Terezi yell from behind you.

"S'up, TZ," you respond, turning around to look her in the eyes... or as close as you can get to looking into the eyes of someone wearing absurdly bright red glasses.

"Just answer the question, dumbass," she orders, hitting your arm.

"I was talking to my best bro, you know, the one with the glasses and blue everything?" you respond, pushing your shades back up.

"This demands further investigation!" she says enthusiastically, reaching for your phone. Her aim is pretty good, especially for someone who uses a cane and claims to be blind.

"TZ, no. You do not touch the coolkid's stuff. Especially not his phone," you say, spinning around to hide your phone from the crazy blind girl currently groping your ass.

"Yo. That is my ass. I advise you remove your hands from my posterior before I am forced to respond," you add, struggling to keep your coolkid act together.

"I know that is your ass. That is why I am grabbing it," she chuckles, grinning.

"I warned you about groping my ass. I have been forced to respond," you say, pocketing your phone before turning around to face the crazy blind girl. You grab her shoulders, and quickly spin her around in circles. While she is trying to relocate you, you walk off to the cafeteria. Your phone sounds, indicating a new message from John.

\- turntechGodhead is now an idle chum! -

EB: you really need to stop going idle in the middle of conversations dude

\- turntechGodhead is no longer an idle chum! -

TG: sorry dude

TG: tz tried to steal my phone, and the proceeded to grope my ass

EB: wow, sounds like something out of karkats romcoms

TG: damn straight dude

TG: its like something lifted straight of of one of Karkat's shitty romcoms, complete with a pathetic cast and dramatic music, the whole works

EB: :B so true

TG: right

TG: egderp?

EB: dammit

EB: i wasnt looking where i was going and walked right into a pole

EB: thats the 3rd time this week

TG: well i need to go

EB: cya then :B

\- ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 12:35 PM -

"Hey Dave. I saw what was happening with TZ. Nice work, getting a blind girl to grab your ass," you hear Sollux joke.

You turn around to face him,"Yo. That had was nothing on my part. TZ felt like grabbing my ass, and she did," you respond.

"Sure it didn't. What did you do to get TZ to grab your ass?" he asks, smirking.

"I did literally nothing. She felt like grabbing this plush Strider rump, and proceeded to do so," you say, continuing towards the cafeteria. You hear Sollux closing stashing his laptop in his messenger bag and jumping up to follow you.

\- 12:37 PM, Strider's Blades -

You hear the old door to your shop open, and you walk up to the counter, setting a partly-cleaned katana down on its stand in the back room of your shop.

"Hey, Strider. Long time no see," she says, resting her arms on the counter. She is wearing a beat-up flak jacket from the Russo-Siberian war of 2087. It even still has a 38th Heavy Armored Air Division patch on the shoulder.. She also has on a black low-cut shirt, combat boots, and blue skinny jeans. She has a pair of golden rings on one eyebrow, and a few golden bracelets.

"Well?" she says,"Remember me?"

"I have no recollection of ever knowing someone that looks like you, please continue," you say, placing your right elbow on the counter, propping up your chin.

"Well, if you really don't remember who I am, I will give you hints, y'know, to see how long it takes ya," she says, smirking, "I'll make ya a bet," she continues,"50 bucks if you remember in five clues or less. If not, no money for you."

"I'm game," you say," so start."

"I was in your highschool bio chem class," she says, crossing her arms.

"That class had 50ish people in it. So go on, another clue," you respond, going back to cleaning the katana you were previously working on.

"You caught me smoking with Meulin," she adds.

"I saw Meulin smoking with different people over 30 times," you say.

"You saw me macking on Aranea, and promptly left," she finishes, "that should give it away,"


End file.
